Over the last year and half there’s been a pattern of women, clients, and friends coming to me about their intimate relationships, wondering whether they should stay or go.

They are saying things like, I don’t like how they do this or that, or that they don’t treat me the way I want to be treated, or that they are not present in the relationship or around when they need them.

It’s a lot of finger pointing about what they don’t like about their partner.

When I dig a little bit, I usually discover that they have one foot in the relationship and the other foot out. They are wanting more commitment, affection or love from their partner but they are not committed, being affectionate or loving themselves. We know, it doesn’t work that way!

Everything is energy. When we are energetically half out the door, isn’t it reasonable to think that our partner might be too?

Sadly, living with one foot in and one foot out is the way so many people live their lives!

And that’s where the real problem lies.

When we’re not committed to something, it’s impossible to make a correct decision about it.

And this isn’t just true for relationships. It can apply to our careers, businesses, health, anything really.

To get clarity about our intimate relationships or anything else in our lives for that matter, we must fully show up first. That means getting the other foot back in!

What does that look like in a relationship?

1. Take the focus off: Him or her or what he or she is doing right or wrong.

2. Shift the focus on: YOU! YOU DO YOU, and do it to your absolute best ability! (That means giving what you want to receive. Give commitment, give affection, give love etc)

3. Rinse and repeat!!

It’s from this new place that things will fall into place exactly as they are meant to.

Because when you shift, your partner will shift… or not.

No right or wrong, no blame or shame. Just the truth.

But you must fully show up with two feet in to get clarity!

Showing up for you first means showing up for the relationships. It takes a boat load of courage, but it is the path of least resistance and the fastest way to see what is best for both of you.

Because at the end of the day, don’t you want your two feet to be met with someone else’s two feet?